


Pieces of the Soul

by TriplePirouette



Series: Pieces of the Soul [1]
Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-13
Updated: 2012-11-13
Packaged: 2017-11-18 14:34:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/562107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TriplePirouette/pseuds/TriplePirouette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Scully's lost Mulder and given up their only son. What<br/>extreme will she go to be with Mulder again?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pieces of the Soul

**Author's Note:**

> This work was originally posted on April 29, 2002 under a different name. I have since changed to Triple Pirouette and I am posting for archival purposes and have not edited or otherwise changed anything about this story since then, including the rest of the author notes. -3P
> 
>  
> 
> Written on 4/29/02
> 
> Key Words: Post- ep William, MSR, some Scully POV
> 
> Rated: G
> 
> Spoilers: Up to William. But Forget about Jump the Shark- that NEVER  
> took place in my mind. LONG LIVE THE LONE GUNMEN!
> 
> Disclaimer: No they're not mine- oh, but if they were! Well, it's OK  
> now, though, because we've learned CC's the biggest 'shipper of us  
> all!
> 
> Dedication: to Leslie and Lesley, my online X-File buds. :D
> 
>  
> 
> XxXxXxXxXxXx
    
    
    Back when I was young, I thought I was a whole person. I thought that
    I could fight for myself, stand up for myself; that I didn't need
    anyone, and that the support of my family was enough.
    
    Now I know that I was so wrong.
    
    My soul was not complete. I didn't know how to trust completely, how
    to love, or truly how to accept that love in return. I truly was a Ice
    Queen, I was afraid to show emotion for fear of my job; for fear of
    being seen as week.  Then, I walked into the basement of the J Edgar
    Hoover building, and my life was changed forever.
    
    I never knew my soul was half missing until I came face to face with
    the missing piece. It wasn't love at first site, or even lust, but
    rather the unbeatable feeling that this man was going to be very
    important to my future.  He taught me so many things, he made me
    whole. He showed me how to be myself and do what's right, though
    others may not know it. He taught me to take risks. My biggest risk of
    all: loving him.
    
    It was a risk that was worth every second we had, though our time was
    short.  Even as we were out chasing UFO's in Oregon, I was telling
    myself that we could have a normal life. When I found out I was
    pregnant, it convinced me we could have a normal life. Even when
    Mulder rose from the dead I told myself that from then on in, it would
    be normal.
    
    I was so wrong. We know too much, have seen too much, to ever live a
    normal life. I know that now.
    
    Even William and his birth were surrounded by impossible and unnerving
    circumstances. But there was Mulder, flying in on his white horse, and
    I told myself that we would live happily ever after. That was all I
    really wanted for once. And on that day, another man entered my life,
    to whom I gave a part of my soul.
    
    And then it all fell apart.
    
    To keep us safe, Mulder left. I couldn't bear being away from that
    missing piece of my soul. I was empty, afraid, sad. But I had the
    other man in my life, my William, to keep me sane and grounded. He was
    my life, something I had fought for harder than I'd ever fought
    before. And I finally fought for him one last time. I fought myself.
    
    I gave him up for adoption. I gave my baby away. And I cry every
    night.
    
    It was for him, it's always been for him. But now, he'll have the
    chance to live the life I can never give him. I was foolish and
    selfish to think that bringing a child into my life, muddled with
    danger and conspiracy, was the right thing. So, though I may never
    truly be the same again, I did what was right for him, and gave him
    the life I could never promise him, no matter how hard I prayed and
    wished. I let a part of my soul go to complete strangers. A part of me
    died.
    
    Now, I have made another life altering decision. I have to find
    Mulder. He has to know what I know now. I have to see him in person to
    tell him... to tell him that I gave his only son to complete
    strangers. I can't fathom how he will react. Will he understand? Will
    he never want to see me again? Will he search for William?
    
    All I know is that I must be with him. He is all that is left between
    me and oblivion. My job holds no fascination for me, and there is
    nothing left to fight for. No love, no family. I can not bring myself
    to tell my mother yet. I can barely still believe it myself. But I
    must be with him.
    
    I couldn't sleep at night, so I started digging. I found names,
    addresses, times places. I think I've found him. No one knows where
    I'm going, or what I've done. But they will. I just have to be with
    him.

* * *
    
    
    Scully closed the journal on her computer then shut it down. Slowly,
    she picked up a small vile next to her computer. Inside was a small
    computer chip and de-ionized water. She carefully wrapped it in bubble
    wrap, and put it in a small brown envelope. She was determined and
    quiet. She stuffed a small note in with it, and sealed the envelope.
    
    Scully got up, and placed the envelope on the duffel bag by the door.
    She slowly walked to the shut door next to her bedroom. She leaned her
    head against the door to the nursery, and a tear slipped down her
    face. She still couldn't bring herself to go in there. She wiped away
    her tears, and took one last look around her apartment. As she did so,
    her left hand went to the back of her neck, feeling the small bandage
    there. Slowly, she turned and picked up the duffel bag and envelope,
    and left her apartment.

* * *
    
    
    Dogget wasn't exactly sure what to do with the envelope that had been
    placed on his door step sometime during the night. He was pretty sure
    that the handwriting on the outside of the envelope was Scully's, but
    the circumstances of the envelope made him suspicious. Finally, his
    curiosity won out and he slowly opened it.
    
    Out dropped a small note as he carefully slid out the bubble wrapped
    item. He opened the note first.
    
    John, This is now a matter of life and death. These last few days have
    been the hardest of my life. Giving up William nearly broke me. So
    I've done the only thing I can, the only thing that will keep me sane.
    
    I've gone to look for Mulder.
    
    Don't come after me. It's dangerous enough that I do this. I already
    know they're watching me. But I need you now more than you know.
    
    I've enclosed a micro-chip in de-ionized water in this package. That
    chip is the key to my life. I now believe, as Mulder had, that that
    chip caused my cancer to go into remission. I also believe that it can
    be used to locate me, which is why I've had it removed. I have only a
    short amount of time, maybe only a few weeks, with which to find
    Mulder. After that, I will be reassaulted by the cancer, and I will
    need to re-implant the chip.
    
    I beg of you to keep this chip safe for me. I must see Mulder again,
    if only to tell him what has become of our son.
    
    I will contact you. Do not try to find me. If a year has passed, you
    must assume Mulder and I are dead.
    
    Thank you, John, for all you have done.
    
    Dana
    
    Dogget could not believe his eyes. Carefully he unwrapped the vial,
    and saw at the bottom, a small micro-chip floating in the water. Still
    examining it, he pulled out his phone and dialed.
    
    "Skinner."
    
    "Sir, I think you better get over here. We have a problem."
    
    fin
    

 


End file.
